Wigan News [Parody]

JO ANNE breaking news


Wigan News
@WiganNews1
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2h
NEWS: A survey of Wigan motorists has found that 100% of drivers slow down for the speed camera at Wigan Pier despite it not taking a single picture since Ince was posh.

Ince is posh?...My, how the world progresses...

I will have you know Ince IS posh! I live in Ince and I get out of the bath to have a pee now.

Cadfael wrote:I will have you know Ince IS posh!  I live in Ince and I get out of the bath to have a pee now.

I bet you just stand up and aim it in

Cadfael wrote:I will have you know Ince IS posh!  I live in Ince and I get out of the bath to have a pee now.

That's the sign of a gentleman..one who does not pee in the bath.....

Wigan News
@WiganNews1
·
3h
NEWS: Wigan Food Reviews have asked that only serious reviews be posted on their platform after one reviewer left the scathing review "ordered lamb with Rosemary but she didn't turn up"

Wigan News
@WiganNews1
SPORT: Outgoing Wigan Warriors owner and Chairman Ian Lenagan has admitted that his departure is due to the increasing demands of working as Eric Pollard in the soap Emmerdale.

Wigan News
@WiganNews1
NEWS: Staff at Wigan's Kwik Fit store have confirmed that they remain open but ask that customers enter via the deep end.

Wigan Council officials have confirmed that the latest road worsening measures at Saddle Junction will begin after the kids go back to school.

Wigan Council have denied reports that The Galleries was demolished due to presence of RAAC in its roof. "There is no concrete evidence" an official told us.

It took a couple of seconds

A man from Marsh Green has been charged with affray after an outrageous verbal and physical attack on the woman inside the self service tills at Asda.

NEWS: As council officials come under increasing pressure to speed up the regeneration of Wigan town centre, one official has been quoted as saying: "May I remind you that Rome wasn't built in a day. You're thinking of Platt Wazz."

Yes, just HOW LONG will it take !!!!!!! , and will it be worth the time, disruption and expense?
We wait to see.

Rome was never destroyed in a day either.....Bah..........

ramiejamie wrote:Yes, just HOW LONG will it take !!!!!!!  , and will it be worth the time, disruption and expense?
We wait to see.

It isn't real news Ray, its a parody of Wigan News.

Good point though, Ray....

Former Wigan coach Shaun Wane has been told his statue of Phil Clarke cannot be erected in Wigan town centre and has been removed.

Blimey !!!!!! LOL

I assume the 'statue' is a reference to his defection to Aussie rugby or am I missing summat?

I just saw it and thought it was funny. Maybe a Leigh connection

Can't find a Leyth connection Lolly, but he did play for Sidney City Roosters so maybe that's why he is being called a penis !!!! , as you say quite funny.

Wigan News
@WiganNews1

NEWS: We can exclusively reveal that Hindley and Platt Bridge are locked in secret merger talks. The newly-named "Hindley Wazz" could be announced as soon as Monday.

Wigan News
@WiganNews1

NEWS: After the climax of a seven-part comedy series was filmed at Bryn Labour Club, the delighted club steward has declared "it's not the first thing that's had a climax at the club"

NEWS: A Newtown couple who met sharing a taxi to and from the top of Wigan each day have finally tied the knot. "We love each other to the Moon and back" they told reporters.

NEWS: Katie Hopkins has angered Wiganers by referring to parts of the town as 'hell'. "There's not a cat in Platt Bridge's chance I would live there" she told reporters.

Wigan Mountain Rescue Service have been praised for helping to save the lives of three cyclists who were struggling to reach the summit of Gathurst brew.