Re: I only pass 'em on....

by ramiejamie Fri 12 Apr 2024, 9:00 pm

In Antigua it costs £2.00 for a steak pie, in Jamaica it'll cost £2.50, but in Barbados it's £4.00!
These are pie rates of the Caribbean.

There’s a new game, called ‘Quiet tennis’, it’s just like normal tennis, but without the racket.

I had a bottle of Omega 3 pills thrown at me the other day.
Luckily I escaped with just Super Fish Oil injuries.

by **Admin** Fri 12 Apr 2024, 9:32 pm

by ramiejamie Fri 12 Apr 2024, 9:46 pm

Cracker Admin, nothing like a knob joke !!!!!!! Embarassed

by ramiejamie Sat 13 Apr 2024, 6:55 pm

My girlfriend wanted sex on the bonnet of her Honda Civic, but I refused, I said, if we’re having sex, it’ll be on my own Accord.

by **Admin** Sat 13 Apr 2024, 6:57 pm

I'll tell Mrs RMJ on you................. lol!

by ramiejamie Sat 13 Apr 2024, 7:20 pm

LOL

I don't think I could do it on the bonnet of a car, I don't have the same sex drive these days !!!!! Embarassed

, I'll get me coat

by ramiejamie Sun 14 Apr 2024, 7:45 pm

The first rule of the Thesaurus Club is, DO NOT :-

Speak
Chat
Converse
Verbalise
Babble
Talk
Gossip
Prattle
Blather
Orate

About the Thesaurus Club.

by **Admin** Sun 14 Apr 2024, 10:10 pm

by **Admin** Mon 15 Apr 2024, 8:21 pm

by ramiejamie Mon 15 Apr 2024, 8:50 pm

I’d like to start with the chimney jokes, I’ve got a stack of them.
The first one is on the house.

Years ago I used to supply Filofaxes for the mafia.
I was involved in very organised crime.

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high, she seemed surprised.

by **Admin** Mon 15 Apr 2024, 9:28 pm

by **Admin** Tue 16 Apr 2024, 4:32 pm

by ramiejamie Tue 16 Apr 2024, 8:10 pm

I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper, I was dicing with death!

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note, it said ‘Parking Fine.

by **Admin** Wed 17 Apr 2024, 6:34 pm

by ramiejamie Wed 17 Apr 2024, 7:30 pm

This bloke said to me “I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar”, I said “is that a fret?”.

Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?, he was just going through a stage.

I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves!

by **Admin** Thu 18 Apr 2024, 11:53 am

by **Admin** Thu 18 Apr 2024, 5:00 pm

My wife left me for another man. All that lies ahead now is a miserable, pointless, lonely life.

And while he's going through that, I'll be down the pub with my mates every night............. cheers

by ramiejamie Thu 18 Apr 2024, 8:20 pm

I bought my friend an elephant for his room, he said ‘Thanks! ‘, I said Don’t mention it!

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, ‘that’s Abba-riginal.

Uncle Ben has died, no more Mr Rice Guy.

by **Admin** Fri 19 Apr 2024, 12:54 pm

by **Admin** Fri 19 Apr 2024, 6:31 pm

I went to one of those psychic shows, the woman looked at me and said " you will walk, you will walk",

I thought what a fake, there's nothing wrong with my legs, so I got up and left, and when I got outside my car had been stolen......... Whistling

by ramiejamie Fri 19 Apr 2024, 8:46 pm

My mother made us eat all sorts of vitamins and supplements.
One day I nearly choked on part of The Sunday Times.”

I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, “what’s the word on the street?”

My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep. I said “40”.

by **Admin** Sat 20 Apr 2024, 5:01 pm

Ways of being dumped...how has it happened to you or how have you done it?

Beat this: An ex-girlfriend of mine went for an eyetest at Specsavers...I went back with her a week later to get her new glasses...I waited outside and when she came out wearing them she did a doubletake when she saw me...and the rest, as they say, is history!!.. Shocked

by **Admin** Sat 20 Apr 2024, 5:15 pm

by ramiejamie Sat 20 Apr 2024, 8:17 pm

I had to think about the 'Specsavers' one Admin Embarassed

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