The Genealogist's Lament

I think a few people can relate to this

Oh ello Mrs I thought you might like it

Fix  it Mrs

I am my own grandpa!

Many many years ago
When I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow
Who was pretty as could be.

This widow had a grown-up daughter
Who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.

To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.

For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.

Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.

My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She's my grandmother too.

If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.

For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!

Would you believe...these are copies of actual correspondence received by the Family History Department?

Our 2nd great grandfather was found dead crossing the plains in the library. He was married 3 times in the endowment house and has 21children.

For running down the Wheelers, I will send £3.00 more.

He and his daughter are listed as not being born.

I would like to find out if I have any living relatives or dead relatives or ancestors in my family.

Will you send me a list of all the Dripps in your library?

My Grandfather died at the age of 3.

We are sending you 5 children in a separate envelope.

Documentation: Family Bible in possession of Aunt Merle until the tornado hit Topeka, Kansas, now only the Good Lord know where it is . . .

The wife of 22 could not be found. Somebody suggested that she might have been stillborn. What do you think?

I am mailing you my aunt and uncle and 3 of their children.

Enclosed please find my Grandmother. I have worked on her for 30 years without success. Now see what you can do.

I have a hard time finding myself in London. If I were there I was very small and cannot be found.

This family had 7 nephews that I am unable to find. If you know who they are please add them to the list.

We lost our Grandmother, will you please send us a copy?

Will you please send me the name of my first wife? I have forgotten her name.

A 14-year-old boy wrote: "I do not want you to do my research for me. Will you please send me all of the material on the Welch line, in the US, England and Scotland countries? I will do the research.

Further research will be necessary to eliminate one of the parents.

A modern mother is explaining to her little girl about pictures in the family photo album. This is the geneticist with your surrogate mother and here's your sperm donor and your fathers clone. This is me holding you when you were just a frozen embryo. The lady with the very troubled look on her face is your aunt, a genealogist.

good stuff lolly

[quote="Lolly"]  A modern mother is explaining to her little girl about pictures in the family photo album. This is the geneticist with your surrogate mother and here's your sperm donor and your fathers clone. This is me holding you when you were just a frozen embryo. The lady with the very troubled look on her face is your aunt, a genealogist. [/quote]


This, really is becoming The Genealogist's Lament.    

I dont know where I find them

Lolly wrote:I dont know where I find them

Neither do I, but I'm pleased you do. This is one I can relate to.

Glad you like UJ

DEAR ANCESTOR
Your tombstone stands among the rest;
Neglected and alone.
The name and date are chiseled out
On polished, marbled stone.
It reaches out to all who care
It is too late to mourn.
You did not know that I exist
You died and I was born.
Yet each of us are cells of you
In flesh, in blood, in bone.
Our blood contracts and beats a pulse
Entirely not our own.
Dear Ancestor, the place you filled
One hundred years ago
Spreads out among the ones you left
Who would have loved you so.
I wonder if you lived and loved,
I wonder if you knew
That someday I would find this spot,
And come to visit you.

Definition of genealogy: When a step backward is true progress!
Don’t let your family tree suffer from root rot!
Finding a new ancestor is a blast from the past!
Genealogist’s favorite game: Ancestor Hide and Seek.
Genealogist’s favorite game show: Family Feud.
Genealogist’s hunting season: 12 Midnight 1 January — 11:59 P.M. 31 December.
Genealogist’s least favorite activity: Pruning the family tree!
Genealogists are always in a family way!
Genealogists are family tree huggers!
Genealogists are forebear hunters!
Genealogy is not done until the “past lady” sings!
Genealogy is simply TREEific!
Genealogy disease: Gensomnia.
How a genealogist greets a stranger: “Are you sure we aren’t related?”
How a genealogist greets another genealogist. “Would you like to join my famclub?”
How a genealogist introduces his children: “I’d like you to meet my descendants!”
How a genealogist introduces his parents: “Have you met my ancestors?”
I’m ancestrally challenged!
If you want to have some fun, say “Who’s your daddy?” to a room full of genealogists and watch the heads turn.
It’s hard to be humble with ancestors like mine!
Money doesn’t grow on trees—but ancestors do!
Murphy’s law of genealogy: After solving a dead end ancestor mystery that consumed your entire adult life, your sister reports, “I could have told you that!”
Murphy’s law of genealogy: Paying for a vital record and then finding it right under your nose!
Old genealogists never die. They just haunt archives.
Organization to help with genealogy addiction: AA (Ancestors Anonymous).
Popular sign in a cemetery: “Dead End.”
The best ancestors want to be found!
The “mother lode” of genealogy is discovering a great grandmother’s maiden name.
Time and genealogy wait for no man!
To a genealogist, the expression “Mother Nature” takes on a whole new meaning!
Transcribers of headstones generally work the graveyard shift!
True genealogists wonder why the Academy Awards don’t have a category for best microfilm!
Ultimate success to a genealogist: Proving that Elvis isn’t dead!
What a genealogist should not say on a blind date: “Isn’t it great? I did your tree and we’re related!”
You know you’re a genealogist if you find the certainty of ancestral death and tax records exciting. (Paraphrased from Ben Franklin’s “Certainty? In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.”)
If you think Castle Garden is something out of a fairy tale, you’re probably not a genealogist!

A man is looking at a photograph of someone. His friend asks who it is.
The man replies, 'Brothers and sisters, I have none. But that man's father is my father's son'.

Who is in the photograph?

MURPHY'S LAW OF GENEALOGY

The public ceremony in which your distinguished ancestor participated and at which the platform collapsed under him turned out to be a hanging.

When at last after much hard work you have evolved the mystery that you have been working on for two years, your aunt says, "I could have told you that."

You never asked your father about his family when he was alive because you were not interested in genealogy then.

The will you need is in the safe on board the Titanic.

Copies of old newspapers have holes occurring only on the surnames.

John, son of Thomas the immigrant whom your relatives claim as the family progenitor, died on board ship at the age of 10.

Your great grandfather's newspaper obituary states that he died leaving no issue of record.

Another genealogist has just insulted the keeper of the vital records you need.

The relative who had all the family photographs gave them all to her daughter who has no interest in genealogy and no inclination to share.

The only record you find for your great grandfather is that his property was sold at a sheriff's sale of insolvency.

The one document that would supply the missing link in your dead end has been lost due to fire, flood or war.

The town clerk to whom you wrote for the information sends you a long handwritten letter which is totally illegible.

The spelling of your European ancestor's name bears no relationship to its current spelling or pronunciation.

None of the pictures in your recently deceased grandmother's photo album have names written on them.

No one in your family tree ever did anything noteworthy, owned property, was sued or was named in a will.

You learn that your great aunt's executor just sold her life's collection of family genealogical materials to a flea market dealer 'somewhere in New York City."

Ink fades and paper deteriorates at a rate inversely proportional to the value of the data recorded.

The 37 volume, 16,000 page history of your country of origin isn't indexed.

You finally find your great grandparents's wedding record and discover that the bride's father was named John Smith.

The family you are looking for will be on the last page of the unindexed (of course) census film that you check. However, if you begin at the end of the roll, they will be on page 1.

The microfilm that you have diligently searched page-by-page will have an index at the end.

All of your spouse's ancestors will be mentioned in county histories. None of yours will be.

If you need just one record, the microfilm will have page numbers. If you need 3 or more records, there won't be any page numbers and the records will not be in the proper order.

The book you need most will be out being rebound.

You will need item 23 on a microfilm roll that has 22 items. The rest of the film is continued on another roll that will not be in the drawer, and the librarian will tell you that it is "missing, and presumed lost."

Just before the entry you need, the records will end. They will begin again two years after the date you need.