Corny joke-a-day

or.....................

Racket is the standard American spelling of the word. Racquet is an alternative spelling more common in Britain, as evidenced by the BBC style guide. Racquet is used more commonly in certain sports, such as tennis, squash, racquetball, and badminton, and less commonly in others.

Although I really like our cousins across the pond, I do get annoyed and upset when they change something, such as racquets and they state that we in Britain call it something else.....when actually the whole world calls it something else...only THEY call it something different.

Ah, God bless 'em, anyway.................

I think American spellings and pronunciation are good and bad, mainly bad .

We stick with the original continental spellings of words like ‘Litre’ and ‘Colour’, NOT 'Liter' and 'Color'.

Also are tomato and potato pronounced the same or, should they be spelled differently???  

They annoy me with ‘Alu minUm’  when it is clearly ‘Alu minIUm !!!!

Yes, Ray, aluminium appears to have dropped an 'i' as it crossed the Atlantic.

What really bothered me was a Yorkshire man that I worked with, he called a tomato, a tomayyto...bugged the hell out of me........

He was blending in with the natives !!!

I suppose.we should say ‘Tomato’ as ‘Tom may to’ as it’s the same spelling as ‘Potato’.
But we should spell it ‘Tom ar to’

44. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles.

How many hands does it take to change a lightbulb?
Many !!!

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says,
"five beers please"

Good 'un, lad....................

45. What did 0 say to 8?
"Nice belt."

In Antigua it costs £2.00 for a steak pie, in Jamaica it'll cost £2.50, but in Barbados it's £4.00!
These are pie rates of the Caribbean.

46. How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, - they just beat the room for being black !!!
Oooow, a bit contentious !!!!!!

Oooooooooooooh...you...........

47. What did the drummer name her twin daughters?
Anna 1, Anna 2.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A Thesaurus.

What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car?
A Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.