Limerick fun

A lad from Wigan once said,
“I could just eat a nice piece of bread”…………

A lad from Wigan once said,
“I could just eat a nice piece of bread”
An imposter of course...

A lad from Wigan once said,
“I could just eat a nice piece of bread”
An imposter of course
Who used brown bread for toast

A lad from Wigan once said,
“I could just eat a nice piece of bread”
An imposter of course
Who used brown bread for toast
He was from Ince instead.

A doctor once said to me ,

A doctor once said to me ,
Your tonsils I cannot see

A doctor once said to me ,
Your tonsils I cannot see
I've looked down your gob............

A doctor once said to me ,
Your tonsils I cannot see
I've looked down your gob
Nothing looks like it should

A doctor once said to me ,
Your tonsils I cannot see
I've looked down your gob
Nothing looks like it should
I think you have swallowed a pea

A man walked into a bar…….

A man walked into a bar…….
He was ugly , and looked very 'far'

A man walked into a bar…….
He was ugly , and looked very 'far'
With a squint and a twitch...

A man walked into a bar…….
He was ugly , and looked very 'far'
With a squint and a twitch...
One ugly sonofa bitch.

A man walked into a bar…….
He was ugly , and looked very 'far'
With a squint and a twitch...
One ugly sonofa bitch
And a yed like an owd jam jar.

It's Satdi neet and all is well...

It's Satdi neet and all is well
I'm of t'pub for a babycham

Babycham and well - not the best rhyme I've heard lol.

It's Satdi neet and all is well
I'm of t'pub for a babycham
A packet of crisps
A frisk and a kiss
Until I hear the last orders Bell

So there

A lady called Mary May Green

A lady called Mary May Green
Had a diet , to some , was obscene.

A lady called Mary May Green
Had a diet , to some , was obscene.
She loved spam and peas........

A lady called Mary May Green
Had a diet , to some , was obscene.
She loved spam and peas........
And searching her dog for fleas

A lady called Mary May Green
Had a diet , to some , was obscene.
She loved spam and peas........
And searching her dog for fleas
Which she squashed twixt her fingers with ease.

A feisty young lady named Penny

A feisty young lady named Penny
Was the first not the last of many

A feisty young lady named Penny
Was the first not the last of many
She put it about,

A feisty young lady named Penny
Was the first not the last of many
She put it about,
But then started to shout...