Limerick fun

There was an old man called Trump
Who's hair was decidedly plump
He said to old Putin
Stop rootin and tootin
Or I'll githee a good owd thump.

It's one o'clock and time for lunch...

It's one o'clock and time for lunch...
I've bought a Kipper that I'm about to munch...

It's one o'clock and time for lunch...
I've bought a Kipper that I'm about to munch
Don't tell all, they'll want a bit..

It's one o'clock and time for lunch...
I've bought a Kipper that I'm about to munch
Don't tell all, they'll want a bit..
Beware of yon mon - the thieving git...

It's one o'clock and time for lunch...
I've bought a Kipper that I'm about to munch
Don't tell all, they'll want a bit..
Beware of yon mon - the thieving git...
Oh what a poet and such wit.

There was an old lady from Gwent..

There was an old lady from Gwent..
Whose broomstick was all withered and bent

There was an old lady from Gwent..
Whose broomstick was all withered and bent
To save her some trouble

There was an old lady from Gwent..
Whose broomstick was all withered and bent
To save her some trouble
With a spell in a bubble

There was an old lady from Gwent..
Whose broomstick was all withered and bent
To save her some trouble
With a spell in a bubble
She flew till it burst over Kent

It's your turn to start us off jo anne. Gerra move on

Next time jo anne

There once was a man from St Ives..

There once was a man from St Ives
Who's buttocks were covered in Hives

There once was a man from St Ives
Who's buttocks were covered in Hives
On both cheeks and his crack

There once was a man from St Ives
Who's buttocks were covered in Hives
On both cheeks and his crack
It favvered a Big Mac

There once was a man from St Ives
Who's buttocks were covered in Hives
On both cheeks and his crack
It favvered a Big Mac
So at dancing class he couldn’t do jives

A witch from Wigan went mixing a potion

A witch from Wigan went mixing a potion
She scratched her yed , she had a notion.

A witch from Wigan went mixing a potion
She scratched her yed , she had a notion
With an almighty BOOM...

A witch from Wigan went mixing a potion
She scratched her yed , she had a notion
With an almighty BOOM...
She was splattered all over the room

A witch from Wigan went mixing a potion
She scratched her yed , she had a notion
With an almighty BOOM...
She was splattered all over the room
It didn't half cause a commotion

A man woke up with a start

A man woke up with a start
After his wife had an uncontrollable fart

A man woke up with a start
After his wife had an uncontrollable fart
He said 'what the hell,

A man woke up with a start
After his wife had an uncontrollable fart
He said 'what the hell,
As he choked due to the smell...